Misunderstandings
by S A F A R I G U R L
Summary: Z hears weird noise coming from the Earl and the Major's room. He stays to listen to the...moans? And what is that oil for? Read and review!


**A silly little story that me and my friend came up with after many, many cups of tea with too much sugar. Hope you like it :D**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, sadly.**

Since the director had ordered the Major and his men to share a NATO provided safe house with Eroica and his team, this time consisting of only James and Bonham, during their mission, most of the Alphabets cherished the moments they got to leave the warzone to spy on their target or get more supplies. One or two stayed in the house to make sure that the Major didn't kill the Earl or the stingy bug. The thieves just loitered around their joined living quarters during the day, going through the blueprints for the safe Eroica was supposed to break into and preparing the necessary tools needed on the job.

At the moment Z was sitting alone at the kitchen table and chatting with Bonham, who was making dinner. G was the only other Alphabet in the -now eerily silent- house. The transvestite had said something about checking something out upstairs and that Z should not bother with it. Apparently James was causing some trouble and neither Z nor Bonham really even wanted to know what it was about so they let G do as he pleased. Meanwhile the Earl and the Major were going through the mission once again in the Major's room which also worked as his office. That was the reason why it really was quiet.

Z was snapped out of his thoughts when the other man in the room spoke, "Ahh, Z, could ye go tell 'is Lordship an' the others to come eat?" Having finished preparing the meal Bonham turned to the young agent and smiled. "Of course", nodding politely Z rose from his seat and walked out of the little kitchen. He didn't mind doing as he was told. After all, there was nothing else to be done and this silence was starting to bother him.

As the first door after the stairs happened to lead into James and Bonham's room -where Z presumed James, and hopefully agent G, would be- he knocked softly on the oak paneled door. He heard murmuring and stifled giggling before the door opened to reveal James's head and nothing else. Z could still hear someone else moving quietly in the room and realizing it was most likely G, who had obviously taken care of the problem he had come to solve, he thought nothing of it. Giving the dark haired man in front of him a little smile he just told the scowling accountant to come down to dinner. The door was slammed closed behind him.

The soft white rug on the corridor floor muted his steps while he walked towards the door at the end. The door was left ajar so that the Major could hear what was going on outside. Slowly approaching his destination Z could hear weird noise coming from the bedroom-turned-into an office. It sounded like the creaking of the bed springs. That couldn't be possible, could it? This was the room where the Major and the Earl were supposed to be, right? Creeping quietly closer Z could now hear talking.

"Here, try this oil, darling. That should make it easier." That was the Earl's voice, no two ways about it. What on earth was going on?

"What kind of stupid, foppish thing is this?! It reeks of roses!" Z stared at the door surprised. The Earl just laughed his melodious laughter.

"Yes, that it does, Major. But it also makes your fingers slicker. See? Now there is not so much resistance against their movement. Not that there'll be any for you, my love." The man frozen in place outside the door was almost able to _hear _the Earl's lashes fluttering seductively.

"Shut up, you damn degenerate and stop wriggling so damn much! Can't you bloody relax! You are making this way harder, verdammte Schwuchtel!" By now the blush on Z's face was bordering on tomato red. Still, he couldn't move away from the door while his boss was having… having… making…? Mein Gott!

"Ohhhh… Klaus, your hand feels so good! ... Now a little lower… Yes, that's the spot! Ahhhh!" It was good that Z was such a good agent or he surely would have made some sort of noise hearing that from the Englishman. The mental image he had at that was something he could have lived a lifetime without experiencing.

"Scheiße! How can you be so damn tight?! It takes more than my bloody fingers to loosen these frigging muscles!" Z had always thought of himself as a nice young man so why was he the one to suffer through this. That last comment was something he would never get out of his poor head.

"Ah, if I had known you to be this good… Oh, yes! I would have had you do this ages ago, ah, dear." For a moment neither said anything, but Z could hear someone moving on the bed. Those damn bed springs gave everything away again.

"Hmph! You fucking fop! Why everything you say has two meanings! Now shut up and let me finish this!" At this point Z decided it was time for him to leave. Surely it wouldn't be so bad if the two missed dinner. They obviously had more pressing matters to see to at the moment and Z would rather save his remaining peace of mind than walk in on the two in a promising situation.

Almost running back to the kitchen he was surprised to find out that Mr. James and G had yet to come down. Sighing he sat back on his previous seat and laid his head on his arms for a minute before lending Bonham a helping hand with setting the table. Maybe in time Z would be able to forget what he witnessed during that day.

**Meanwhile back upstairs…**

Dorian raised his right hand to gently rub his left shoulder and sighed in pleasure. Had he known how good Klaus was at giving massages, he would have put that skill to use much earlier. The thief had never felt this relaxed before and this wonderful feeling was all Klaus's doing. Today's impromptu massage session had been pure heaven. Too bad it had to end now, or they would miss dinner.

While they had been going through Eroica's part of the mission, Klaus had noticed how Dorian winced painfully every time he had to bend over a bit more to see the floor plan of the museum better. Since the last heist there had been no time for Dorian to properly relax and thus his back was by now tying itself in knots. The Major had suggested a massage after growing tired at seeing the damned criminal in pain over something as menial as sore muscles.

Now after that glorious experience Klaus was looking at him like nothing at all had changed between them. He stood staring at their plan smoking a cigarette in silence. Well, Dorian wouldn't fight that. For Iron Klaus to be fazed just by a massage would make him a lousy spy and Dorian didn't want that. Maybe another time then. It would be fantastical to get Klaus to massage him again. Preferably in Castle Gloria with some fine wine and a fireplace to bring the correct atmosphere. And some pillows. Not to forget the oil.

But now was no time to fantasize. Bonham had always been strict about eating and if they did not leave now, they would surely be late.

James and G were rushing through the room trying to find the correct clothes to go with their respective outfits from the heaps of garments lying on the floor. The sudden appearance of Z had almost given away their secret and it had been James who had managed to look presentable enough to open the door before anything too bad could happen. A minute later and poor Z would have had the biggest shock of his life.

They didn't want to be late for the dinner so that no one would come looking for them while they were engaging in something very indecent. During this new mission G had stayed in the house when the other Alphabets left and would soon disappear upstairs to have some alone time with the accountant.

They had started their affair some missions ago. The Earl and the Major had been fighting and James had decided to disappear before the crazy German noticed his presence. Wandering around the hotel they lived in he had searched for something to do. He would have stayed in their room, but Bonham and Jones had refused to spend time with him for some reason. Suddenly he had found himself with G in the same room and, being the cheapskate he is, had organized the tranny's terribly backed luggage so that they had been lighter than originally and thus G could buy more souvenirs than he had planned.

That evening the two went shopping together; James haggling down the prizes of the dresses G had set his eyes on. Soon they had gotten to speaking about the things they liked (the Major, the Earl and, on James's case, money) and didn't like. They realized that the two of them were not so different after all and that night they had found themselves sharing a bed for the first time.

Finally they had managed to dress themselves even with the distracting presence of a bed in the same room. Sharing a chaste kiss they stepped out of the door to the hallway and started down the stairs keeping up appearances by bickering about something stupid. Later they would make up for all the fighting till late in the night.

**THE END**

**Reviews will be loved to death! **


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